if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
