We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
