My first STD was from a foam party
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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