There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
