I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
