69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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