Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
