i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
