you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
