so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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