Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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