How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
