Your mouth is God's brothel.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
