it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize