what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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