I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
