He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
