Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize