She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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