ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just sucked dick on a ferry
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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