I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
