she was so not down for the gang bang
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
well you can't waste a boner
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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