My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
