i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
