We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
