thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
