We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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