At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
