I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize