So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize