i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
