There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
