? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just high enough for therapy.
My ass is underappreciated
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
