Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
