areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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