hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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