So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
