is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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