ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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