I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
