There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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