Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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