So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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