every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
