I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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