Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
