but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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