i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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