Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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