i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize