We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize