4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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