If that was your dad, he is hot
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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