this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
