i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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