How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
