I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
