I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
