Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
