You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So much rum. So many feels.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
