hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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