I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
