Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
