You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
