and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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