Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
