Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
